Two Ton Creativity BLOG: News http://www.twotoncreativity.com/ Fri, 18 May 2012 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/dying-chevron-executive-excited-to-one-day-become,28254/ http://www.theonion.com/video/dying-chevron-executive-excited-to-one-day-become,28254/ Thu, 17 May 2012 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/republicans-stalling-obamas-agenda-by-speaking-mov,28234/ http://www.theonion.com/video/republicans-stalling-obamas-agenda-by-speaking-mov,28234/ Wed, 16 May 2012 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/after-weeks-of-media-pressure-shia-labeouf-still-r,27235/ http://www.theonion.com/video/after-weeks-of-media-pressure-shia-labeouf-still-r,27235/ Tue, 15 May 2012 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/transcontinental-railroad-completed-as-chinamans-g,28231/ http://www.theonion.com/video/transcontinental-railroad-completed-as-chinamans-g,28231/ Tue, 15 May 2012 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/alabama-hosts-first-desegregated-mass-suicide,28231/ http://www.theonion.com/video/alabama-hosts-first-desegregated-mass-suicide,28231/ Mon, 14 May 2012 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/behind-the-pen-how-marriage-works,28173/ http://www.theonion.com/video/behind-the-pen-how-marriage-works,28173/ Fri, 11 May 2012 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/santorum-now-viciously-condemning-homosexuals-mino,28178/ http://www.theonion.com/video/santorum-now-viciously-condemning-homosexuals-mino,28178/ Fri, 11 May 2012 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/same-homeless-man-always-begging-for-change-on-uni,28178/ http://www.theonion.com/video/same-homeless-man-always-begging-for-change-on-uni,28178/ Tue, 08 May 2012 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/this-week-in-history-sears-tower-constructed-with,28128/ http://www.theonion.com/video/this-week-in-history-sears-tower-constructed-with,28128/ Tue, 08 May 2012 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/this-week-in-history-vladimir-putin-wins-russian-p,28128/ http://www.theonion.com/video/this-week-in-history-vladimir-putin-wins-russian-p,28128/ Mon, 07 May 2012 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/in-bipartisan-spirit-obama-makes-deal-to-get-kicke,28107/ http://www.theonion.com/video/in-bipartisan-spirit-obama-makes-deal-to-get-kicke,28107/ Fri, 04 May 2012 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/prince-william-kate-middleton-celebrate-oneyear-an,28098/ http://www.theonion.com/video/prince-william-kate-middleton-celebrate-oneyear-an,28098/ Fri, 04 May 2012 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/it-easy-to-tell-what-area-man-will-look-like-as-sk,28098/ http://www.theonion.com/video/it-easy-to-tell-what-area-man-will-look-like-as-sk,28098/ Wed, 02 May 2012 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/medium-channels-the-spirits-of-old-acquaintances-f,28067/ http://www.theonion.com/video/medium-channels-the-spirits-of-old-acquaintances-f,28067/ Mon, 30 Apr 2012 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/biden-unveils-new-health-initiative-to-make-us-wom,28031/ http://www.theonion.com/video/biden-unveils-new-health-initiative-to-make-us-wom,28031/ Mon, 30 Apr 2012 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/romney-courts-hispanic-vote-with-animated-sombrero,28044/ http://www.theonion.com/video/romney-courts-hispanic-vote-with-animated-sombrero,28044/ Fri, 27 Apr 2012 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/report-typical-city-bus-contains-no-fewer-than-fou,28022/ http://www.theonion.com/video/report-typical-city-bus-contains-no-fewer-than-fou,28022/ Fri, 27 Apr 2012 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/kid-screaming-behind-passenger-during-entire-plane,28022/ http://www.theonion.com/video/kid-screaming-behind-passenger-during-entire-plane,28022/ Wed, 25 Apr 2012 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/kanye-west-in-feud-with-nation-of-syria,28013/ http://www.theonion.com/video/kanye-west-in-feud-with-nation-of-syria,28013/ Tue, 24 Apr 2012 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/obamas-approval-rating-down-after-photos-surface-o,28010/ http://www.theonion.com/video/obamas-approval-rating-down-after-photos-surface-o,28010/ Fri, 20 Apr 2012 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/pekingese-really-letting-self-go-since-winning-wes,27992/ http://www.theonion.com/video/pekingese-really-letting-self-go-since-winning-wes,27992/ Fri, 20 Apr 2012 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/eric-cantor-tossed-by-bucking-mitch-mcconnell-duri,27992/ http://www.theonion.com/video/eric-cantor-tossed-by-bucking-mitch-mcconnell-duri,27992/ Wed, 18 Apr 2012 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/four-american-troops-tragically-killed-along-with,27949/ http://www.theonion.com/video/four-american-troops-tragically-killed-along-with,27949/ Tue, 17 Apr 2012 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/report-every-potential-2040-president-already-unel,27963/ http://www.theonion.com/video/report-every-potential-2040-president-already-unel,27963/ Thu, 12 Apr 2012 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/democrats-obama-has-dicked-us-around-for-four-year,27897/ http://www.theonion.com/video/democrats-obama-has-dicked-us-around-for-four-year,27897/ Mon, 09 Apr 2012 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/reporter-helps-starving-dogs-by-personally-shootin,27891/ http://www.theonion.com/video/reporter-helps-starving-dogs-by-personally-shootin,27891/ Sun, 08 Apr 2012 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/planning-a-spouses-funeral-even-though-theyll-prob,27880/ http://www.theonion.com/video/planning-a-spouses-funeral-even-though-theyll-prob,27880/ Fri, 06 Apr 2012 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/shelby-cross-warns-women-selfdefense-classes-a-tra,27877/ http://www.theonion.com/video/shelby-cross-warns-women-selfdefense-classes-a-tra,27877/ Thu, 05 Apr 2012 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/stephen-strasburg-ceremoniously-reinjures-arm-on-o,27866/ http://www.theonion.com/video/stephen-strasburg-ceremoniously-reinjures-arm-on-o,27866/ Thu, 05 Apr 2012 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/extremely-wired-tim-duncan-explodes-for-50-points,27866/ http://www.theonion.com/video/extremely-wired-tim-duncan-explodes-for-50-points,27866/ Mon, 02 Apr 2012 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/romney-to-travel-back-in-time-to-kill-liberal-vers,27788/ http://www.theonion.com/video/romney-to-travel-back-in-time-to-kill-liberal-vers,27788/ Fri, 30 Mar 2012 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/penn-state-tshirt-awkwardly-looked-away-from,27817/ http://www.theonion.com/video/penn-state-tshirt-awkwardly-looked-away-from,27817/ Fri, 30 Mar 2012 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/man-with-nice-eyes-blown,27817/ http://www.theonion.com/video/man-with-nice-eyes-blown,27817/ Thu, 29 Mar 2012 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/after-1-week-in-new-york-tim-tebow-already-a-gay-h,27787/ http://www.theonion.com/video/after-1-week-in-new-york-tim-tebow-already-a-gay-h,27787/ Thu, 29 Mar 2012 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/mets-questionable-for-opening-day,27787/ http://www.theonion.com/video/mets-questionable-for-opening-day,27787/ Tue, 27 Mar 2012 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/today-now-host-undergoes-horrifically-painful-surg,27779/ http://www.theonion.com/video/today-now-host-undergoes-horrifically-painful-surg,27779/ Mon, 26 Mar 2012 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/smalltown-mayor-steps-down-amid-scandal-over-forge,26943/ http://www.theonion.com/video/smalltown-mayor-steps-down-amid-scandal-over-forge,26943/ Fri, 23 Mar 2012 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/jeff-beck-lured-into-dark-alley-with-old-guitarpic,27739/ http://www.theonion.com/video/jeff-beck-lured-into-dark-alley-with-old-guitarpic,27739/ Fri, 23 Mar 2012 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/purity-of-war-marred-by-one-bad-apple-in-afghanist,27739/ http://www.theonion.com/video/purity-of-war-marred-by-one-bad-apple-in-afghanist,27739/ Thu, 22 Mar 2012 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/broncos-receivers-worried-peyton-manning-going-to,27716/ http://www.theonion.com/video/broncos-receivers-worried-peyton-manning-going-to,27716/ Thu, 22 Mar 2012 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/bryce-harper-sent-down-to-triplea-to-learn-to-be-a,27716/ http://www.theonion.com/video/bryce-harper-sent-down-to-triplea-to-learn-to-be-a,27716/ Tue, 20 Mar 2012 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/joad-cressbeckler-denies-he-incited-mob-to-drag-co,27689/ http://www.theonion.com/video/joad-cressbeckler-denies-he-incited-mob-to-drag-co,27689/ Tue, 20 Mar 2012 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/nations-first-boomboxcarrying-rollerskating-congre,26944/ http://www.theonion.com/video/nations-first-boomboxcarrying-rollerskating-congre,26944/ Fri, 16 Mar 2012 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/sale-of-bet-to-white-supremacist-group-results-in,27660/ http://www.theonion.com/video/sale-of-bet-to-white-supremacist-group-results-in,27660/ Fri, 16 Mar 2012 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/community-garden-sprouts-first-condom-wrapper-of-s,27660/ http://www.theonion.com/video/community-garden-sprouts-first-condom-wrapper-of-s,27660/ Thu, 15 Mar 2012 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/nation-abuzz-with-prospect-of-18yearold-boys-havin,27643/ http://www.theonion.com/video/nation-abuzz-with-prospect-of-18yearold-boys-havin,27643/ Wed, 14 Mar 2012 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/romney-santorum-supporters-to-beat-living-shit-out,27633/ http://www.theonion.com/video/romney-santorum-supporters-to-beat-living-shit-out,27633/ Tue, 13 Mar 2012 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/google-shuts-down-gmail-for-two-hours-to-show-its,27610/ http://www.theonion.com/video/google-shuts-down-gmail-for-two-hours-to-show-its,27610/ Mon, 12 Mar 2012 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/could-the-use-of-flying-death-robots-be-hurting-am,27601/ http://www.theonion.com/video/could-the-use-of-flying-death-robots-be-hurting-am,27601/ Fri, 09 Mar 2012 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/embarrassing-bounced-check-from-greece-taped-up-in,27587/ http://www.theonion.com/video/embarrassing-bounced-check-from-greece-taped-up-in,27587/ Thu, 08 Mar 2012 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/teens-death-hits-reporter-hard,27567/ http://www.theonion.com/video/teens-death-hits-reporter-hard,27567/ Thu, 08 Mar 2012 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/gay-12yearold-i-like-eating-lunch-here-by-myself,27565/ http://www.theonion.com/video/gay-12yearold-i-like-eating-lunch-here-by-myself,27565/ Wed, 07 Mar 2012 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/police-kidnapped-moveonorg-staffers-please-help-em,27561/ http://www.theonion.com/video/police-kidnapped-moveonorg-staffers-please-help-em,27561/ Tue, 06 Mar 2012 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/poll-gingrich-best-candidate-to-preside-over-ameri,27557/ http://www.theonion.com/video/poll-gingrich-best-candidate-to-preside-over-ameri,27557/ Tue, 06 Mar 2012 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/romney-now-flaunting-his-wealth-to-impress-voters,27557/ http://www.theonion.com/video/romney-now-flaunting-his-wealth-to-impress-voters,27557/ Fri, 02 Mar 2012 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/worlds-youngest-person-born,27514/ http://www.theonion.com/video/worlds-youngest-person-born,27514/ Thu, 01 Mar 2012 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/heartbroken-santorum-condemns-gay-marriage-for-two,27497/ http://www.theonion.com/video/heartbroken-santorum-condemns-gay-marriage-for-two,27497/ Tue, 28 Feb 2012 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/woman-sets-record-for-longest-amount-of-time-spent,27488/ http://www.theonion.com/video/woman-sets-record-for-longest-amount-of-time-spent,27488/ Fri, 24 Feb 2012 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/facebook-to-permit-users-to-change-privacy-setting,27472/ http://www.theonion.com/video/facebook-to-permit-users-to-change-privacy-setting,27472/ Fri, 24 Feb 2012 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/every-group-of-friends-at-karaoke-bar-ruins-every,27472/ http://www.theonion.com/video/every-group-of-friends-at-karaoke-bar-ruins-every,27472/ Wed, 22 Feb 2012 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/leaf-from-tree-of-life-frontrunner-for-best-actor,27461/ http://www.theonion.com/video/leaf-from-tree-of-life-frontrunner-for-best-actor,27461/ Tue, 21 Feb 2012 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/newsblitz-senate-session-interrupted-by-wailing-of,27435/ http://www.theonion.com/video/newsblitz-senate-session-interrupted-by-wailing-of,27435/ Mon, 20 Feb 2012 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/boy-loses-leg-in-totally-awesome-shark-attack,26945/ http://www.theonion.com/video/boy-loses-leg-in-totally-awesome-shark-attack,26945/ Fri, 17 Feb 2012 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/obama-urges-citizens-to-hide-evidence-of-our-forme,27410/ http://www.theonion.com/video/obama-urges-citizens-to-hide-evidence-of-our-forme,27410/ Thu, 16 Feb 2012 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/knicks-trade-jeremy-lin-for-selfish-asshole-who-pl,27394/ http://www.theonion.com/video/knicks-trade-jeremy-lin-for-selfish-asshole-who-pl,27394/ Tue, 14 Feb 2012 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/joad-cressbeckler-immigrants-who-survive-arizona-d,27376/ http://www.theonion.com/video/joad-cressbeckler-immigrants-who-survive-arizona-d,27376/ Mon, 13 Feb 2012 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/obama-begs-voters-not-to-make-his-daughters-switch,27368/ http://www.theonion.com/video/obama-begs-voters-not-to-make-his-daughters-switch,27368/ Wed, 08 Feb 2012 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/meet-the-man-inside-the-nicolas-cage-costume,27318/ http://www.theonion.com/video/meet-the-man-inside-the-nicolas-cage-costume,27318/ Tue, 07 Feb 2012 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/in-the-know-panel-analyzes-obamas-furious-profanit,27288/ http://www.theonion.com/video/in-the-know-panel-analyzes-obamas-furious-profanit,27288/ Mon, 06 Feb 2012 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/eli-manning-asks-dad-if-he-can-stop-playing-footba,27279/ http://www.theonion.com/video/eli-manning-asks-dad-if-he-can-stop-playing-footba,27279/ Mon, 06 Feb 2012 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/gop-introduces-new-mystery-candidate-with-paper-ba,27271/ http://www.theonion.com/video/gop-introduces-new-mystery-candidate-with-paper-ba,27271/ Fri, 03 Feb 2012 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/poll-gop-nomination-now-twoway-race-between-mitt-r,27269/ http://www.theonion.com/video/poll-gop-nomination-now-twoway-race-between-mitt-r,27269/ Fri, 03 Feb 2012 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/cocky-giants-d-reveals-game-plan-that-they-will-tr,27258/ http://www.theonion.com/video/cocky-giants-d-reveals-game-plan-that-they-will-tr,27258/ Tue, 31 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/braindead-teen-only-capable-of-rolling-eyes-and-te,27225/ http://www.theonion.com/video/braindead-teen-only-capable-of-rolling-eyes-and-te,27225/ Mon, 30 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/panelists-discussing-gop-debate-clearly-didnt-watc,27205/ http://www.theonion.com/video/panelists-discussing-gop-debate-clearly-didnt-watc,27205/ Fri, 27 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/embarrassed-steven-chu-accidentally-calls-barack-o,27193/ http://www.theonion.com/video/embarrassed-steven-chu-accidentally-calls-barack-o,27193/ Fri, 27 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/worlds-greatest-trombonist-just-tells-people-he-wo,27193/ http://www.theonion.com/video/worlds-greatest-trombonist-just-tells-people-he-wo,27193/ Thu, 26 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/football-fans-excited-to-watch-patriots-or-giants,27179/ http://www.theonion.com/video/football-fans-excited-to-watch-patriots-or-giants,27179/ Wed, 25 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/tyler-perry-expands-his-fan-base-with-new-films-ab,27165/ http://www.theonion.com/video/tyler-perry-expands-his-fan-base-with-new-films-ab,27165/ Tue, 24 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/today-now-provides-grieving-widower-with-miniature,27157/ http://www.theonion.com/video/today-now-provides-grieving-widower-with-miniature,27157/ Tue, 24 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/dead-wife-and-kids-replaced-by-miniature-horses,27157/ http://www.theonion.com/video/dead-wife-and-kids-replaced-by-miniature-horses,27157/ Mon, 23 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/2011-in-review-nation-shocked-to-find-out-elizabet,27135/ http://www.theonion.com/video/2011-in-review-nation-shocked-to-find-out-elizabet,27135/ Fri, 20 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/arbys-customer-look-at-all-this-beef-i-got,27114/ http://www.theonion.com/video/arbys-customer-look-at-all-this-beef-i-got,27114/ Fri, 20 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/snake-gets-tattoo-of-dude-on-its-face,27114/ http://www.theonion.com/video/snake-gets-tattoo-of-dude-on-its-face,27114/ Thu, 19 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/articles/tebows-defeat-restores-nations-faith-in-god,27096/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/tebows-defeat-restores-nations-faith-in-god,27096/ Wed, 18 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/justin-timberlake-wins-golden-globe-for-funniest-g,27080/ http://www.theonion.com/video/justin-timberlake-wins-golden-globe-for-funniest-g,27080/ Tue, 17 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/critics-slam-obama-for-just-standing-there-during,27072/ http://www.theonion.com/video/critics-slam-obama-for-just-standing-there-during,27072/ Mon, 16 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/2011-top-story-one-of-arizonas-many-crazed-gunmen,27055/ http://www.theonion.com/video/2011-top-story-one-of-arizonas-many-crazed-gunmen,27055/ Fri, 13 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/minnesota-braces-for-return-of-bachmanns-full-atte,27040/ http://www.theonion.com/video/minnesota-braces-for-return-of-bachmanns-full-atte,27040/ Fri, 13 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/jayz-fans-brace-themselves-for-onslaught-of-horrib,27007/ http://www.theonion.com/video/jayz-fans-brace-themselves-for-onslaught-of-horrib,27007/ Thu, 12 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/articles/alex-smith-boasts-49ers-have-what-it-takes-to-win,27024/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/alex-smith-boasts-49ers-have-what-it-takes-to-win,27024/ Thu, 12 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/grover-norquist-i-engaged-in-a-weeklong-drugfueled,27023/ http://www.theonion.com/video/grover-norquist-i-engaged-in-a-weeklong-drugfueled,27023/ Tue, 10 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/breaking-witch-who-granted-beyonce-fame-returns-to,27002/ http://www.theonion.com/video/breaking-witch-who-granted-beyonce-fame-returns-to,27002/ Tue, 10 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/blue-ivy-taken-by-evil-witch-who-gave-beyonce-her,27002/ http://www.theonion.com/video/blue-ivy-taken-by-evil-witch-who-gave-beyonce-her,27002/ Mon, 09 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/2011-top-story-queen-beds-kate-middleton-in-royal,26983/ http://www.theonion.com/video/2011-top-story-queen-beds-kate-middleton-in-royal,26983/ Fri, 06 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/feds-break-up-brutal-las-vegas-manfighting-ring,26976/ http://www.theonion.com/video/feds-break-up-brutal-las-vegas-manfighting-ring,26976/ Fri, 06 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/grandma-updates-to-cordless-landline,26976/ http://www.theonion.com/video/grandma-updates-to-cordless-landline,26976/ Thu, 05 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/did-the-media-treat-bachmann-unfairly-because-shes,26961/ http://www.theonion.com/video/did-the-media-treat-bachmann-unfairly-because-shes,26961/ Tue, 03 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/surgeon-general-smoking-fine-as-long-as-you-only-d,26936/ http://www.theonion.com/video/surgeon-general-smoking-fine-as-long-as-you-only-d,26936/ Mon, 02 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/2011-top-story-japanese-nuclear-reactor-totally-sa,26924/ http://www.theonion.com/video/2011-top-story-japanese-nuclear-reactor-totally-sa,26924/ Tue, 20 Dec 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/traveling-group-of-medieval-mummers-is-americas-to,26900/ http://www.theonion.com/video/traveling-group-of-medieval-mummers-is-americas-to,26900/ Mon, 19 Dec 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/2011-top-story-navy-seals-discover-bin-laden-gaine,26897/ http://www.theonion.com/video/2011-top-story-navy-seals-discover-bin-laden-gaine,26897/ Fri, 16 Dec 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/study-96-percent-of-humans-would-rather-be-animatr,26892/ http://www.theonion.com/video/study-96-percent-of-humans-would-rather-be-animatr,26892/ Fri, 16 Dec 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/us-commemorates-911-by-toasting-stable-afghan-gove,26892/ http://www.theonion.com/video/us-commemorates-911-by-toasting-stable-afghan-gove,26892/ Thu, 15 Dec 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/articles/tim-tebow-becomes-first-christian-to-play-in-nfl-s,26886/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/tim-tebow-becomes-first-christian-to-play-in-nfl-s,26886/ Wed, 14 Dec 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/ashton-kutcher-caught-canoodling-with-ancient-disc,26880/ http://www.theonion.com/video/ashton-kutcher-caught-canoodling-with-ancient-disc,26880/ Wed, 14 Dec 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/ashton-moves-on-from-demi-dating-evil-black-disc,26880/ http://www.theonion.com/video/ashton-moves-on-from-demi-dating-evil-black-disc,26880/ Mon, 12 Dec 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/pop-stars-single-booty-wave-most-likely-civilizati,26868/ http://www.theonion.com/video/pop-stars-single-booty-wave-most-likely-civilizati,26868/ Fri, 09 Dec 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/report-nobodys-heard-from-david-blaine-in-a-while,26860/ http://www.theonion.com/video/report-nobodys-heard-from-david-blaine-in-a-while,26860/ Fri, 09 Dec 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/burrito-eaten-like-someone-in-the-room-wasnt-cryin,26860/ http://www.theonion.com/video/burrito-eaten-like-someone-in-the-room-wasnt-cryin,26860/ Thu, 08 Dec 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/articles/aaron-rodgers-vows-to-make-season-interesting-by-k,26844/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/aaron-rodgers-vows-to-make-season-interesting-by-k,26844/ Thu, 08 Dec 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/brooke-alvarez-has-all-the-answers-even-about-part,26842/ http://www.theonion.com/video/brooke-alvarez-has-all-the-answers-even-about-part,26842/ Thu, 08 Dec 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/year-in-review-revolution-in-egypt-either-courageo,26840/ http://www.theonion.com/video/year-in-review-revolution-in-egypt-either-courageo,26840/ Thu, 08 Dec 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/articles/mark-sanchez-injures-pussy-finger,26844/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/mark-sanchez-injures-pussy-finger,26844/ Tue, 06 Dec 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/year-in-review-renewable-energy-source-encoded-in,26832/ http://www.theonion.com/video/year-in-review-renewable-energy-source-encoded-in,26832/ Mon, 05 Dec 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/chinese-paint-tops-list-of-this-years-musthave-hol,26810/ http://www.theonion.com/video/chinese-paint-tops-list-of-this-years-musthave-hol,26810/ Fri, 02 Dec 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/brief-reprieve-from-mariah-careys-christmas-song-c,26797/ http://www.theonion.com/video/brief-reprieve-from-mariah-careys-christmas-song-c,26797/ Fri, 02 Dec 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/articles/tim-tebows-success-inspiring-other-teams-to-start,26787/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/tim-tebows-success-inspiring-other-teams-to-start,26787/ Fri, 02 Dec 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/doofus-chilean-miner-stuck-down-there-again,26797/ http://www.theonion.com/video/doofus-chilean-miner-stuck-down-there-again,26797/ Fri, 02 Dec 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/articles/nba-players-owners-fail-to-reach-agreement-where-t,26787/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/nba-players-owners-fail-to-reach-agreement-where-t,26787/ Thu, 01 Dec 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/parents-keep-deceased-sons-memory-alive-through-hi,26772/ http://www.theonion.com/video/parents-keep-deceased-sons-memory-alive-through-hi,26772/ Thu, 01 Dec 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/parents-honor-dead-sons-memory-by-keeping-up-his-a,26772/ http://www.theonion.com/video/parents-honor-dead-sons-memory-by-keeping-up-his-a,26772/ Wed, 30 Nov 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/brooke-alvarez-explains-why-there-are-so-many-peop,26770/ http://www.theonion.com/video/brooke-alvarez-explains-why-there-are-so-many-peop,26770/ Tue, 29 Nov 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/high-unemployment-linked-to-increasing-number-of-f,26741/ http://www.theonion.com/video/high-unemployment-linked-to-increasing-number-of-f,26741/ Mon, 28 Nov 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/older-hispanic-men-line-up-excitedly-for-breaking,26726/ http://www.theonion.com/video/older-hispanic-men-line-up-excitedly-for-breaking,26726/ Wed, 23 Nov 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/articles/cowboys-presumed-thanksgiving-win-to-cause-nation,26721/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/cowboys-presumed-thanksgiving-win-to-cause-nation,26721/ Wed, 23 Nov 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/brooke-alvarez-must-decide-between-watch-the-thron,26719/ http://www.theonion.com/video/brooke-alvarez-must-decide-between-watch-the-thron,26719/ Wed, 23 Nov 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/articles/ray-lewis-volunteers-at-local-zoo-to-feed-wildebee,26721/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/ray-lewis-volunteers-at-local-zoo-to-feed-wildebee,26721/ Mon, 21 Nov 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/autistic-reporter-michael-falk-enchanted-by-prison,26712/ http://www.theonion.com/video/autistic-reporter-michael-falk-enchanted-by-prison,26712/ Fri, 18 Nov 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/teen-zebra-doesnt-give-a-shit-how-much-you-honk-he,26708/ http://www.theonion.com/video/teen-zebra-doesnt-give-a-shit-how-much-you-honk-he,26708/ Fri, 18 Nov 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/report-some-sick-fuck-out-there-now-supporting-her,26708/ http://www.theonion.com/video/report-some-sick-fuck-out-there-now-supporting-her,26708/ Thu, 17 Nov 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/new-robot-warns-when-someones-about-to-walk-in-on,26697/ http://www.theonion.com/video/new-robot-warns-when-someones-about-to-walk-in-on,26697/ Wed, 16 Nov 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/brooke-alvarez-teaches-us-how-to-deal-with-uninfor,26688/ http://www.theonion.com/video/brooke-alvarez-teaches-us-how-to-deal-with-uninfor,26688/ Mon, 14 Nov 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/jim-and-tracy-put-on-fat-suits-to-see-what-life-is,26659/ http://www.theonion.com/video/jim-and-tracy-put-on-fat-suits-to-see-what-life-is,26659/ Fri, 11 Nov 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/obamas-attempt-to-pass-each-word-of-jobs-bill-stal,26633/ http://www.theonion.com/video/obamas-attempt-to-pass-each-word-of-jobs-bill-stal,26633/ Fri, 11 Nov 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/latest-gop-debate-concludes-with-candidates-wrestl,26633/ http://www.theonion.com/video/latest-gop-debate-concludes-with-candidates-wrestl,26633/ Thu, 10 Nov 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/articles/tom-brady-mark-sanchez-prepare-for-jetspats-matchu,26621/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/tom-brady-mark-sanchez-prepare-for-jetspats-matchu,26621/ Tue, 08 Nov 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/brooke-alvarez-can-speak-news-in-any-language,26590/ http://www.theonion.com/video/brooke-alvarez-can-speak-news-in-any-language,26590/ Mon, 07 Nov 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/celebrity-chef-ted-allen-cooks-his-favorite-preten,26571/ http://www.theonion.com/video/celebrity-chef-ted-allen-cooks-his-favorite-preten,26571/ Fri, 04 Nov 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/facebook-increases-user-control-with-new-cancel-ac,26559/ http://www.theonion.com/video/facebook-increases-user-control-with-new-cancel-ac,26559/ Fri, 04 Nov 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/security-guards-chase-naked-usa-fan-around-white-h,26559/ http://www.theonion.com/video/security-guards-chase-naked-usa-fan-around-white-h,26559/ Thu, 03 Nov 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/articles/kevin-kolb-lands-new-job-where-he-isnt-booed-and-t,26542/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/kevin-kolb-lands-new-job-where-he-isnt-booed-and-t,26542/ Wed, 02 Nov 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/us-turns-to-the-makers-of-the-foultasting-but-very,26529/ http://www.theonion.com/video/us-turns-to-the-makers-of-the-foultasting-but-very,26529/ Tue, 01 Nov 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/glenn-beck-appears-in-revealing-documentary-about,26505/ http://www.theonion.com/video/glenn-beck-appears-in-revealing-documentary-about,26505/ Mon, 31 Oct 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/brooke-alvarez-names-the-one-person-who-could-comp,26494/ http://www.theonion.com/video/brooke-alvarez-names-the-one-person-who-could-comp,26494/ Fri, 28 Oct 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/department-of-treasury-releases-new-monsters-of-th,26483/ http://www.theonion.com/video/department-of-treasury-releases-new-monsters-of-th,26483/ Fri, 28 Oct 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/sun-dreading-rising-today,26483/ http://www.theonion.com/video/sun-dreading-rising-today,26483/ Thu, 27 Oct 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/articles/tim-tebow-becomes-first-bad-quarterback-to-lead-4t,26471/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/tim-tebow-becomes-first-bad-quarterback-to-lead-4t,26471/ Thu, 27 Oct 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/articles/blake-griffin-keeping-busy-by-dunking-things-aroun,26471/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/blake-griffin-keeping-busy-by-dunking-things-aroun,26471/ Wed, 26 Oct 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/hackers-shut-down-january-jones,26460/ http://www.theonion.com/video/hackers-shut-down-january-jones,26460/ Tue, 25 Oct 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/brooke-alvarez-assures-us-romantics-that-true-love,26439/ http://www.theonion.com/video/brooke-alvarez-assures-us-romantics-that-true-love,26439/ Mon, 24 Oct 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/shelby-cross-teaches-us-how-to-protect-our-childre,26438/ http://www.theonion.com/video/shelby-cross-teaches-us-how-to-protect-our-childre,26438/ Fri, 21 Oct 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/rick-perry-speech-electrifies-1200-scared-miserabl,26429/ http://www.theonion.com/video/rick-perry-speech-electrifies-1200-scared-miserabl,26429/ Fri, 21 Oct 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/something-sliding-around-in-coffin,26429/ http://www.theonion.com/video/something-sliding-around-in-coffin,26429/ Thu, 20 Oct 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/articles/nba-players-owners-agree-that-both-sides-are-selfi,26415/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/nba-players-owners-agree-that-both-sides-are-selfi,26415/ Thu, 20 Oct 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/articles/soccer-star-diagnosed-with-chronic-mls,26415/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/soccer-star-diagnosed-with-chronic-mls,26415/ Wed, 19 Oct 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/comatose-john-clarkson-drops-out-of-gop-race-due-t,26409/ http://www.theonion.com/video/comatose-john-clarkson-drops-out-of-gop-race-due-t,26409/ Tue, 18 Oct 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/gop-race-heats-up-as-candidate-in-coma-more-appeal,26406/ http://www.theonion.com/video/gop-race-heats-up-as-candidate-in-coma-more-appeal,26406/ Tue, 18 Oct 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/gop-race-heats-up-as-candidate-in-coma-more-appeal,26406/ http://www.theonion.com/video/gop-race-heats-up-as-candidate-in-coma-more-appeal,26406/ Fri, 14 Oct 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/flying-squirrel-loves-it-every-time,26370/ http://www.theonion.com/video/flying-squirrel-loves-it-every-time,26370/ Fri, 14 Oct 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/occupy-wall-street-protesters-head-used-to-ring-op,26370/ http://www.theonion.com/video/occupy-wall-street-protesters-head-used-to-ring-op,26370/ Fri, 14 Oct 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/hollywood-announces-plan-to-remake-jimmy-stewart,26370/ http://www.theonion.com/video/hollywood-announces-plan-to-remake-jimmy-stewart,26370/ Thu, 13 Oct 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/articles/mario-williams-out-for-season-with-torn-tit,26355/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/mario-williams-out-for-season-with-torn-tit,26355/ Thu, 13 Oct 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/articles/yankees-phillies-playing-sad-little-world-series-o,26355/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/yankees-phillies-playing-sad-little-world-series-o,26355/ Wed, 12 Oct 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/presidents-approval-rating-soars-after-punching-wa,26349/ http://www.theonion.com/video/presidents-approval-rating-soars-after-punching-wa,26349/ Tue, 11 Oct 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/brooke-alvarez-has-a-chance-to-ask-herself-a-quest,26327/ http://www.theonion.com/video/brooke-alvarez-has-a-chance-to-ask-herself-a-quest,26327/ Mon, 10 Oct 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/apple-announces-plans-to-release-steve-jobs-2-full,26293/ http://www.theonion.com/video/apple-announces-plans-to-release-steve-jobs-2-full,26293/ Fri, 07 Oct 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/last-bastion-of-us-economy-succumbs-to-pancreatic,26285/ http://www.theonion.com/video/last-bastion-of-us-economy-succumbs-to-pancreatic,26285/ Fri, 07 Oct 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/man-receives-first-baboonface-transplant,26285/ http://www.theonion.com/video/man-receives-first-baboonface-transplant,26285/ Thu, 06 Oct 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/articles/sidney-crosby-tells-telephone-pole-he-has-recovere,26269/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/sidney-crosby-tells-telephone-pole-he-has-recovere,26269/ Thu, 06 Oct 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/articles/alex-smith-td-pass-challenged-on-grounds-it-was-th,26269/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/alex-smith-td-pass-challenged-on-grounds-it-was-th,26269/ Wed, 05 Oct 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/man-born-with-stupid-goddamn-face-you-just-want-to,26263/ http://www.theonion.com/video/man-born-with-stupid-goddamn-face-you-just-want-to,26263/ Tue, 04 Oct 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/onion-news-network-season-2-premieres-tonight-just,26254/ http://www.theonion.com/video/onion-news-network-season-2-premieres-tonight-just,26254/ Mon, 03 Oct 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/brooke-alvarez-tells-you-how-to-look-good-for-the,26248/ http://www.theonion.com/video/brooke-alvarez-tells-you-how-to-look-good-for-the,26248/ Fri, 30 Sep 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/vengeanceminded-glacier-just-biding-time-until-nex,26231/ http://www.theonion.com/video/vengeanceminded-glacier-just-biding-time-until-nex,26231/ Fri, 30 Sep 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/articles/arod-past-prime-unable-to-match-asinine-public-emb,26228/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/arod-past-prime-unable-to-match-asinine-public-emb,26228/ Fri, 30 Sep 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/father-who-messed-up-visitation-schedule-consumes,26231/ http://www.theonion.com/video/father-who-messed-up-visitation-schedule-consumes,26231/ Fri, 30 Sep 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/articles/tim-wakefield-admits-knuckleball-just-fastball-he,26228/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/tim-wakefield-admits-knuckleball-just-fastball-he,26228/ Thu, 29 Sep 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/video-from-inside-congressional-hostage-situation,26208/ http://www.theonion.com/video/video-from-inside-congressional-hostage-situation,26208/ Thu, 29 Sep 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/articles/red-sox-sell-out-of-commemorative-collapse-2011-ha,26212/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/red-sox-sell-out-of-commemorative-collapse-2011-ha,26212/ Wed, 28 Sep 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/brooke-alvarez-decides-whos-the-worst-liar-in-wash,26192/ http://www.theonion.com/video/brooke-alvarez-decides-whos-the-worst-liar-in-wash,26192/ Tue, 27 Sep 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/brutal-spousefighting-ring-discovered-in-miami-bas,26180/ http://www.theonion.com/video/brutal-spousefighting-ring-discovered-in-miami-bas,26180/ Mon, 26 Sep 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/brooke-explains-why-she-has-no-problem-with-drunk,26176/ http://www.theonion.com/video/brooke-explains-why-she-has-no-problem-with-drunk,26176/ Fri, 23 Sep 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/obama-accidentally-seated-next-to-taliban-leader-a,26166/ http://www.theonion.com/video/obama-accidentally-seated-next-to-taliban-leader-a,26166/ Fri, 23 Sep 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/indianapolis-2020-olympic-bid-video-our-time-to-sh,26158/ http://www.theonion.com/video/indianapolis-2020-olympic-bid-video-our-time-to-sh,26158/ Fri, 23 Sep 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/toy-prepares-child-to-one-day-pull-around-real-tel,26166/ http://www.theonion.com/video/toy-prepares-child-to-one-day-pull-around-real-tel,26166/ Fri, 23 Sep 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/public-bathrooms-condition-encapsulates-why-worlds,26166/ http://www.theonion.com/video/public-bathrooms-condition-encapsulates-why-worlds,26166/ Thu, 22 Sep 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/articles/notre-dame-victory-sparks-widespread-ncaa-investig,26139/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/notre-dame-victory-sparks-widespread-ncaa-investig,26139/ Thu, 22 Sep 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/articles/falcons-cb-dunta-robinson-to-be-publicly-hanged-fo,26139/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/falcons-cb-dunta-robinson-to-be-publicly-hanged-fo,26139/ Wed, 21 Sep 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/brooke-alvarez-attempts-to-connect-with-the-common,26130/ http://www.theonion.com/video/brooke-alvarez-attempts-to-connect-with-the-common,26130/ Tue, 20 Sep 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/new-psychedelic-weight-loss-drug-transforms-food-i,26119/ http://www.theonion.com/video/new-psychedelic-weight-loss-drug-transforms-food-i,26119/ Mon, 19 Sep 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/brooke-alvarez-explains-why-even-losers-on-faceboo,26113/ http://www.theonion.com/video/brooke-alvarez-explains-why-even-losers-on-faceboo,26113/ Fri, 16 Sep 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/update-bruce-springsteens-scifi-concept-album-red,26101/ http://www.theonion.com/video/update-bruce-springsteens-scifi-concept-album-red,26101/ Fri, 16 Sep 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/breaking-dow-futures-plunge-on-news-that-bill-loug,26101/ http://www.theonion.com/video/breaking-dow-futures-plunge-on-news-that-bill-loug,26101/ Thu, 15 Sep 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/articles/michael-vick-unemotional-on-return-to-atlanta-i-ha,26087/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/michael-vick-unemotional-on-return-to-atlanta-i-ha,26087/ Thu, 15 Sep 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/articles/tom-brady-questionable-for-sundays-game-after-waki,26087/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/tom-brady-questionable-for-sundays-game-after-waki,26087/ Wed, 14 Sep 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/new-law-legalizes-brandishing-guns-at-head-level-s,26085/ http://www.theonion.com/video/new-law-legalizes-brandishing-guns-at-head-level-s,26085/ Mon, 12 Sep 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/landmark-civil-rights-act-made-racism-slightly-les,21352/ http://www.theonion.com/video/landmark-civil-rights-act-made-racism-slightly-les,21352/ Fri, 09 Sep 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/remembering-911-a-pleasure-for-nation-compared-to,21322/ http://www.theonion.com/video/remembering-911-a-pleasure-for-nation-compared-to,21322/ Thu, 08 Sep 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/articles/ben-roethlisberger-close-to-completing-offseason-w,21311/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/ben-roethlisberger-close-to-completing-offseason-w,21311/ Thu, 08 Sep 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/articles/rex-ryan-rob-ryan-announce-that-they-are-brothers,21311/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/rex-ryan-rob-ryan-announce-that-they-are-brothers,21311/ Wed, 07 Sep 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/many-doctors-say-its-high-time-to-legalize-marijua,21308/ http://www.theonion.com/video/many-doctors-say-its-high-time-to-legalize-marijua,21308/ Tue, 06 Sep 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/popular-1920s-dance-originated-as-way-to-terrorize,21287/ http://www.theonion.com/video/popular-1920s-dance-originated-as-way-to-terrorize,21287/ Fri, 02 Sep 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/all-financial-experts-urge-americans-to-invest-mon,21281/ http://www.theonion.com/video/all-financial-experts-urge-americans-to-invest-mon,21281/ Thu, 01 Sep 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/articles/panthers-name-cam-newton-starting-qb-because-every,21263/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/panthers-name-cam-newton-starting-qb-because-every,21263/ Wed, 31 Aug 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/shelby-cross-takes-on-public-indecency-by-videotap,21259/ http://www.theonion.com/video/shelby-cross-takes-on-public-indecency-by-videotap,21259/ Mon, 29 Aug 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/small-towns-ufo-scare-revealed-to-be-alien-hoax-se,21241/ http://www.theonion.com/video/small-towns-ufo-scare-revealed-to-be-alien-hoax-se,21241/ Fri, 26 Aug 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/steve-jobs-resigns-after-realizing-technology-has,21229/ http://www.theonion.com/video/steve-jobs-resigns-after-realizing-technology-has,21229/ Thu, 25 Aug 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/articles/peyton-manning-says-he-will-play-in-colts-opener-a,21208/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/peyton-manning-says-he-will-play-in-colts-opener-a,21208/ Wed, 24 Aug 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/new-study-explains-why-comic-sans-font-so-hilariou,21202/ http://www.theonion.com/video/new-study-explains-why-comic-sans-font-so-hilariou,21202/ Mon, 22 Aug 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/law-gives-all-mistreated-americans-right-to-open-c,21179/ http://www.theonion.com/video/law-gives-all-mistreated-americans-right-to-open-c,21179/ Fri, 19 Aug 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/fbi-uncovers-largest-credit-card-scam-in-history-a,21178/ http://www.theonion.com/video/fbi-uncovers-largest-credit-card-scam-in-history-a,21178/ Fri, 19 Aug 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/articles/tiger-woods-fails-to-qualify-for-sex-with-dive-bar,21164/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/tiger-woods-fails-to-qualify-for-sex-with-dive-bar,21164/ Thu, 18 Aug 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/supreme-court-rules-first-amendment-does-not-apply,21161/ http://www.theonion.com/video/supreme-court-rules-first-amendment-does-not-apply,21161/ Tue, 16 Aug 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/miners-trapped-in-lifethreatening-mining-jobs-seas,21140/ http://www.theonion.com/video/miners-trapped-in-lifethreatening-mining-jobs-seas,21140/ Fri, 12 Aug 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/gop-supports-obama-for-2012-we-need-more-time-to-c,21130/ http://www.theonion.com/video/gop-supports-obama-for-2012-we-need-more-time-to-c,21130/ Thu, 11 Aug 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/nations-singers-rudely-telling-djs-how-to-do-job,21119/ http://www.theonion.com/video/nations-singers-rudely-telling-djs-how-to-do-job,21119/ Thu, 11 Aug 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/nations-singers-rudely-telling-djs-how-to-do-job-s,21119/ http://www.theonion.com/video/nations-singers-rudely-telling-djs-how-to-do-job-s,21119/ Tue, 09 Aug 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/onion-news-network-is-the-loudest-voice-in-news-se,21105/ http://www.theonion.com/video/onion-news-network-is-the-loudest-voice-in-news-se,21105/ Fri, 05 Aug 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/obama-debt-ceiling-deal-a-prime-example-of-democra,21083/ http://www.theonion.com/video/obama-debt-ceiling-deal-a-prime-example-of-democra,21083/ Thu, 04 Aug 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/obama-begs-us-not-to-embarrass-him-in-front-of-fre,21068/ http://www.theonion.com/video/obama-begs-us-not-to-embarrass-him-in-front-of-fre,21068/ Tue, 02 Aug 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/escort-reveals-affair-with-that-actor-from-that-th,21057/ http://www.theonion.com/video/escort-reveals-affair-with-that-actor-from-that-th,21057/ Fri, 29 Jul 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/amy-winehouses-grammys-returned-by-london-pawn-sho,21035/ http://www.theonion.com/video/amy-winehouses-grammys-returned-by-london-pawn-sho,21035/ Thu, 28 Jul 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/nations-climatologists-exhibiting-strange-behavior,21009/ http://www.theonion.com/video/nations-climatologists-exhibiting-strange-behavior,21009/ Tue, 26 Jul 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/social-security-reform-bill-encourages-americans-t,21006/ http://www.theonion.com/video/social-security-reform-bill-encourages-americans-t,21006/ Fri, 22 Jul 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/ruin-the-economy-or-not-congress-still-unable-to-d,20996/ http://www.theonion.com/video/ruin-the-economy-or-not-congress-still-unable-to-d,20996/ Thu, 21 Jul 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/tensions-mount-after-north-korea-destroys-all-of-a,20914/ http://www.theonion.com/video/tensions-mount-after-north-korea-destroys-all-of-a,20914/ Tue, 19 Jul 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/should-adults-be-allowed-to-bring-kids-to-rrated-m,20961/ http://www.theonion.com/video/should-adults-be-allowed-to-bring-kids-to-rrated-m,20961/ Fri, 15 Jul 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/pope-supports-gay-marriage-after-meeting-charming,20949/ http://www.theonion.com/video/pope-supports-gay-marriage-after-meeting-charming,20949/ Thu, 14 Jul 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/joe-biden-introduces-trio-of-sexy-bodyguards,20921/ http://www.theonion.com/video/joe-biden-introduces-trio-of-sexy-bodyguards,20921/ Tue, 12 Jul 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/millions-irrationally-feared-dead-in-minor-train-a,20901/ http://www.theonion.com/video/millions-irrationally-feared-dead-in-minor-train-a,20901/ Fri, 08 Jul 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/rod-stewart-easily-passes-for-an-elderly-aunt,20890/ http://www.theonion.com/video/rod-stewart-easily-passes-for-an-elderly-aunt,20890/ Thu, 07 Jul 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/nation-somehow-failed-to-predict-attack-by-michael,20888/ http://www.theonion.com/video/nation-somehow-failed-to-predict-attack-by-michael,20888/ Thu, 30 Jun 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/mr-met-takes-out-frustration-on-fans-at-citi-field,20883/ http://www.theonion.com/video/mr-met-takes-out-frustration-on-fans-at-citi-field,20883/ Thu, 30 Jun 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/mr-met-takes-out-frustration-on-fans-at-citi-field,20883/ http://www.theonion.com/video/mr-met-takes-out-frustration-on-fans-at-citi-field,20883/ Wed, 29 Jun 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/potential-school-shooter-gunned-down-by-popular-jo,20877/ http://www.theonion.com/video/potential-school-shooter-gunned-down-by-popular-jo,20877/ Tue, 28 Jun 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/in-the-know-coal-lobby-warns-wind-farms-may-blow-e,20876/ http://www.theonion.com/video/in-the-know-coal-lobby-warns-wind-farms-may-blow-e,20876/ Fri, 24 Jun 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/lazy-illiterate-pulitzer-board-should-at-least-be,20869/ http://www.theonion.com/video/lazy-illiterate-pulitzer-board-should-at-least-be,20869/ Tue, 21 Jun 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/joad-cressbeckler-homosexuality-a-necessity-on-col,20844/ http://www.theonion.com/video/joad-cressbeckler-homosexuality-a-necessity-on-col,20844/ Wed, 15 Jun 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/green-lantern-to-fulfill-americas-wish-to-see-lant,20741/ http://www.theonion.com/video/green-lantern-to-fulfill-americas-wish-to-see-lant,20741/ Thu, 09 Jun 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/antigay-senators-horse-affair-caught-on-tape,20707/ http://www.theonion.com/video/antigay-senators-horse-affair-caught-on-tape,20707/ Thu, 09 Jun 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/live-senator-addresses-rumors-of-horse-affair,20703/ http://www.theonion.com/video/live-senator-addresses-rumors-of-horse-affair,20703/ Tue, 07 Jun 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/today-now-save-money-by-taking-a-vacation-entirely,20678/ http://www.theonion.com/video/today-now-save-money-by-taking-a-vacation-entirely,20678/ Thu, 02 Jun 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/national-dating-standards-lowered,20647/ http://www.theonion.com/video/national-dating-standards-lowered,20647/ Tue, 31 May 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/report-economy-failing-because-us-built-on-ancient,20638/ http://www.theonion.com/video/report-economy-failing-because-us-built-on-ancient,20638/ Thu, 26 May 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/shelby-cross-instructs-viewers-to-build-justice-sh,20534/ http://www.theonion.com/video/shelby-cross-instructs-viewers-to-build-justice-sh,20534/ Tue, 24 May 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/final-minutes-of-last-harry-potter-movie-to-be-spl,20528/ http://www.theonion.com/video/final-minutes-of-last-harry-potter-movie-to-be-spl,20528/ Fri, 20 May 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/cashstrapped-pbs-releases-nova-special-on-physics,20508/ http://www.theonion.com/video/cashstrapped-pbs-releases-nova-special-on-physics,20508/ Thu, 19 May 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/americas-waitresses-are-they-hitting-on-you,20493/ http://www.theonion.com/video/americas-waitresses-are-they-hitting-on-you,20493/ Tue, 17 May 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/missing-teens-friends-go-on-tv-to-plead-for-her-re,20401/ http://www.theonion.com/video/missing-teens-friends-go-on-tv-to-plead-for-her-re,20401/ Fri, 13 May 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/update-obama-yet-again-refrains-from-obliterating,20387/ http://www.theonion.com/video/update-obama-yet-again-refrains-from-obliterating,20387/ Thu, 12 May 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/live-congress-debates-new-sexbased-american-dreams,20373/ http://www.theonion.com/video/live-congress-debates-new-sexbased-american-dreams,20373/ Tue, 10 May 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/hostages-trapped-inside-walmart-insisting-they-nev,20362/ http://www.theonion.com/video/hostages-trapped-inside-walmart-insisting-they-nev,20362/ Fri, 06 May 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/other-guy-named-osama-bin-laden-can-finally-relax,20347/ http://www.theonion.com/video/other-guy-named-osama-bin-laden-can-finally-relax,20347/ Thu, 05 May 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/predator-drone-tr425-takes-the-stand,20317/ http://www.theonion.com/video/predator-drone-tr425-takes-the-stand,20317/ Wed, 04 May 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/predator-drone-courtmartialed-for-afghani-civilian,20316/ http://www.theonion.com/video/predator-drone-courtmartialed-for-afghani-civilian,20316/ Tue, 03 May 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/obama-befriends-rich-elderly-widow-in-hopes-shell,20305/ http://www.theonion.com/video/obama-befriends-rich-elderly-widow-in-hopes-shell,20305/ Fri, 29 Apr 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/donald-trump-under-pressure-to-prove-hes-not-a-pat,20271/ http://www.theonion.com/video/donald-trump-under-pressure-to-prove-hes-not-a-pat,20271/ Thu, 28 Apr 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/troubled-democrats-to-undergo-party-counseling,20260/ http://www.theonion.com/video/troubled-democrats-to-undergo-party-counseling,20260/ Tue, 26 Apr 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/today-now-interviews-the-5yearold-screenwriter-of,20188/ http://www.theonion.com/video/today-now-interviews-the-5yearold-screenwriter-of,20188/ Fri, 22 Apr 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/268-feral-cats-removed-from-un-headquarters,20175/ http://www.theonion.com/video/268-feral-cats-removed-from-un-headquarters,20175/ Thu, 21 Apr 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/autistic-reporter-train-thankfully-unharmed-in-cra,20098/ http://www.theonion.com/video/autistic-reporter-train-thankfully-unharmed-in-cra,20098/ Tue, 19 Apr 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/in-the-know-should-the-nations-unemployed-be-buyin,20083/ http://www.theonion.com/video/in-the-know-should-the-nations-unemployed-be-buyin,20083/ Fri, 15 Apr 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/the-onion-review-congress-cuts-its-stepsons-fundin,20061/ http://www.theonion.com/video/the-onion-review-congress-cuts-its-stepsons-fundin,20061/ Thu, 14 Apr 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/law-prohibits-nations-shawnas-from-using-tanning-b,19986/ http://www.theonion.com/video/law-prohibits-nations-shawnas-from-using-tanning-b,19986/ Tue, 12 Apr 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/how-to-get-a-guy-to-notice-you-while-youre-having,19984/ http://www.theonion.com/video/how-to-get-a-guy-to-notice-you-while-youre-having,19984/ Thu, 07 Apr 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/the-onion-review-obama-casts-national-musical,19949/ http://www.theonion.com/video/the-onion-review-obama-casts-national-musical,19949/ Tue, 05 Apr 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/internet-outage-forces-public-into-street-to-voice,19895/ http://www.theonion.com/video/internet-outage-forces-public-into-street-to-voice,19895/ Thu, 31 Mar 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/introducing-the-onion-review-the-most-vital-recap,19865/ http://www.theonion.com/video/introducing-the-onion-review-the-most-vital-recap,19865/ Tue, 29 Mar 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/american-dream-declared-dead-as-final-believer-giv,19846/ http://www.theonion.com/video/american-dream-declared-dead-as-final-believer-giv,19846/ Mon, 28 Mar 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/damaged-women-stage-drunken-2-am-march-on-washingt,19840/ http://www.theonion.com/video/damaged-women-stage-drunken-2-am-march-on-washingt,19840/ Fri, 25 Mar 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/in-freak-accident-34-katherine-heigl-films-release,19824/ http://www.theonion.com/video/in-freak-accident-34-katherine-heigl-films-release,19824/ Wed, 23 Mar 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/cases-of-shaken-manchild-syndrome-on-the-rise,19783/ http://www.theonion.com/video/cases-of-shaken-manchild-syndrome-on-the-rise,19783/ Tue, 22 Mar 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/patriotic-teen-fails-spanish,19782/ http://www.theonion.com/video/patriotic-teen-fails-spanish,19782/ Mon, 21 Mar 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/cias-facebook-program-dramatically-cut-agencys-cos,19753/ http://www.theonion.com/video/cias-facebook-program-dramatically-cut-agencys-cos,19753/ Wed, 16 Mar 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/psa-ben-stiller-speaks-out-against-shaken-manchild,19732/ http://www.theonion.com/video/psa-ben-stiller-speaks-out-against-shaken-manchild,19732/ Mon, 14 Mar 2011 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/panel-of-caged-average-americans-weigh-in-on-econo,19694/ http://www.theonion.com/video/panel-of-caged-average-americans-weigh-in-on-econo,19694/ Fri, 11 Mar 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/man-becomes-gop-frontrunner-after-showing-no-inter,19678/ http://www.theonion.com/video/man-becomes-gop-frontrunner-after-showing-no-inter,19678/ Tue, 08 Mar 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/small-town-throws-pride-parade-for-only-gay-reside,19431/ http://www.theonion.com/video/small-town-throws-pride-parade-for-only-gay-reside,19431/ Mon, 07 Mar 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/oklahoma-doctors-can-legally-pretend-to-give-abort,19425/ http://www.theonion.com/video/oklahoma-doctors-can-legally-pretend-to-give-abort,19425/ Fri, 04 Mar 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/incomprehensible-shouting-named-official-us-langua,19417/ http://www.theonion.com/video/incomprehensible-shouting-named-official-us-langua,19417/ Tue, 01 Mar 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/ear-of-genetically-modified-corn-begs-for-death,19344/ http://www.theonion.com/video/ear-of-genetically-modified-corn-begs-for-death,19344/ Mon, 28 Feb 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/man-who-shit-pants-in-grade-school-awarded-purple,19332/ http://www.theonion.com/video/man-who-shit-pants-in-grade-school-awarded-purple,19332/ Fri, 25 Feb 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/al-qaeda-attacks-internet-with-photo-of-adorable-p,19324/ http://www.theonion.com/video/al-qaeda-attacks-internet-with-photo-of-adorable-p,19324/ Thu, 24 Feb 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/get-your-onion-news-network-action-figures-today,19306/ http://www.theonion.com/video/get-your-onion-news-network-action-figures-today,19306/ Wed, 23 Feb 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/peta-protests-use-of-chickens-to-randomly-pick-osc,19258/ http://www.theonion.com/video/peta-protests-use-of-chickens-to-randomly-pick-osc,19258/ Tue, 22 Feb 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/towns-teenpregnancy-spike-due-to-one-impressive-yo,19275/ http://www.theonion.com/video/towns-teenpregnancy-spike-due-to-one-impressive-yo,19275/ Mon, 21 Feb 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/obama-denies-accusations-he-does-not-love-his-dog,19252/ http://www.theonion.com/video/obama-denies-accusations-he-does-not-love-his-dog,19252/ Wed, 16 Feb 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/breaking-news-woman-crying-on-train-platform,19207/ http://www.theonion.com/video/breaking-news-woman-crying-on-train-platform,19207/ Mon, 14 Feb 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/report-finds-troubling-rise-in-teen-uranium-enrich,19175/ http://www.theonion.com/video/report-finds-troubling-rise-in-teen-uranium-enrich,19175/ Thu, 10 Feb 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/nation-elects-first-openly-drunk-senator,19146/ http://www.theonion.com/video/nation-elects-first-openly-drunk-senator,19146/ Tue, 08 Feb 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/articles/annual-valentines-day-stoning-of-happy-couple-held,19117/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/annual-valentines-day-stoning-of-happy-couple-held,19117/ Tue, 08 Feb 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/annual-valentines-day-stoning-of-happy-couple-held,19117/ http://www.theonion.com/video/annual-valentines-day-stoning-of-happy-couple-held,19117/ Mon, 07 Feb 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/articles/apple-fans-chopping-off-hands-in-anticipation-of-n,19084/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/apple-fans-chopping-off-hands-in-anticipation-of-n,19084/ Mon, 07 Feb 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/apple-fans-chopping-off-hands-in-anticipation-of-n,19084/ http://www.theonion.com/video/apple-fans-chopping-off-hands-in-anticipation-of-n,19084/ Fri, 04 Feb 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/breaking-antigay-congressman-caught-in-affair-with,19064/ http://www.theonion.com/video/breaking-antigay-congressman-caught-in-affair-with,19064/ Fri, 04 Feb 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/articles/breaking-antigay-congressman-caught-in-affair-with,19064/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/breaking-antigay-congressman-caught-in-affair-with,19064/ Fri, 28 Jan 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/articles/army-program-pairs-female-soldiers-with-male-chape,18978/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/army-program-pairs-female-soldiers-with-male-chape,18978/ Fri, 28 Jan 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/articles/congress-forgets-how-to-pass-a-law,18979/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/congress-forgets-how-to-pass-a-law,18979/ Fri, 28 Jan 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/articles/al-qaeda-populating-us-with-peaceful-decoy-muslims,18980/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/al-qaeda-populating-us-with-peaceful-decoy-muslims,18980/ Fri, 28 Jan 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/articles/serial-killer-apparently-feels-entitled-to-coverag,18981/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/serial-killer-apparently-feels-entitled-to-coverag,18981/ Fri, 28 Jan 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/articles/fema-rushes-supplies-to-new-orleans-in-anticipatio,18982/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/fema-rushes-supplies-to-new-orleans-in-anticipatio,18982/ Fri, 28 Jan 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/articles/massive-snowstorm-leaves-thousands-without-access,18993/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/massive-snowstorm-leaves-thousands-without-access,18993/ Fri, 28 Jan 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/fema-rushes-supplies-to-new-orleans-in-anticipatio,18982/ http://www.theonion.com/video/fema-rushes-supplies-to-new-orleans-in-anticipatio,18982/ Fri, 28 Jan 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/massive-snowstorm-leaves-thousands-without-access,18993/ http://www.theonion.com/video/massive-snowstorm-leaves-thousands-without-access,18993/ Fri, 28 Jan 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/army-program-pairs-female-soldiers-with-male-chape,18978/ http://www.theonion.com/video/army-program-pairs-female-soldiers-with-male-chape,18978/ Thu, 27 Jan 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/articles/firefighter-died-to-save-unimpressive-teen,18967/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/firefighter-died-to-save-unimpressive-teen,18967/ Fri, 21 Jan 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/articles/judge-rules-white-girl-will-be-tried-as-black-adul,18896/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/judge-rules-white-girl-will-be-tried-as-black-adul,18896/ Fri, 21 Jan 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/articles/this-day-in-history-the-invention-of-the-handjob,18907/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/this-day-in-history-the-invention-of-the-handjob,18907/ Fri, 21 Jan 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/articles/factzone-viewer-has-sad-pathetic-life,18904/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/factzone-viewer-has-sad-pathetic-life,18904/ Wed, 19 Jan 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/articles/morbid-curiosity-leading-many-voters-to-support-pa,18865/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/morbid-curiosity-leading-many-voters-to-support-pa,18865/ Wed, 12 Jan 2011 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/articles/inside-the-onion-news-network,18810/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/inside-the-onion-news-network,18810/ Tue, 28 Dec 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/articles/snowy-conditions-proving-hazardous-for-nations-idi,18705/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/snowy-conditions-proving-hazardous-for-nations-idi,18705/ Mon, 27 Dec 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/articles/kim-jong-il-ends-nuclear-program-for-lead-in-next,18702/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/kim-jong-il-ends-nuclear-program-for-lead-in-next,18702/ Tue, 14 Dec 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/onion-sportsdome-get-sportsed,18659/ http://www.theonion.com/video/onion-sportsdome-get-sportsed,18659/ Thu, 09 Dec 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/in-the-know-is-pundit-duncan-birch-a-worthless-idi,18591/ http://www.theonion.com/video/in-the-know-is-pundit-duncan-birch-a-worthless-idi,18591/ Tue, 07 Dec 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/excitement-growing-among-beatles-fans-for-paul-mcc,18590/ http://www.theonion.com/video/excitement-growing-among-beatles-fans-for-paul-mcc,18590/ Tue, 30 Nov 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/chinese-gossip-blogger-fights-for-freedom-to-post,18551/ http://www.theonion.com/video/chinese-gossip-blogger-fights-for-freedom-to-post,18551/ Tue, 23 Nov 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/obama-outlines-moral-philosophical-justifications,18509/ http://www.theonion.com/video/obama-outlines-moral-philosophical-justifications,18509/ Thu, 18 Nov 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/articles/onion-news-network-coming-to-ifc-january-2011,18488/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/onion-news-network-coming-to-ifc-january-2011,18488/ Thu, 18 Nov 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/articles/onion-news-network-coming-to-ifc-january-21,18488/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/onion-news-network-coming-to-ifc-january-21,18488/ Tue, 16 Nov 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/obama-replaces-costly-highspeed-rail-plan-with-hig,18473/ http://www.theonion.com/video/obama-replaces-costly-highspeed-rail-plan-with-hig,18473/ Thu, 11 Nov 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/oprah-invites-hundreds-of-lucky-fans-to-be-buried,18443/ http://www.theonion.com/video/oprah-invites-hundreds-of-lucky-fans-to-be-buried,18443/ Tue, 09 Nov 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.theonion.com/video/joad-cressbeckler-fears-genetic-modification-cause,18433/ http://www.theonion.com/video/joad-cressbeckler-fears-genetic-modification-cause,18433/ Tue, 02 Nov 2010 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/social-security-scam-robs-elderly-by-convincing-th,18377/ http://www.theonion.com/video/social-security-scam-robs-elderly-by-convincing-th,18377/ Thu, 28 Oct 2010 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/aa-destroying-the-social-lives-of-thousands-of-onc,18349/ http://www.theonion.com/video/aa-destroying-the-social-lives-of-thousands-of-onc,18349/ Tue, 26 Oct 2010 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/bird-hunted-to-near-extinction-due-to-infuriating,18345/ http://www.theonion.com/video/bird-hunted-to-near-extinction-due-to-infuriating,18345/ Tue, 19 Oct 2010 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/thousands-of-girls-match-description-of-missing-so,18302/ http://www.theonion.com/video/thousands-of-girls-match-description-of-missing-so,18302/ Thu, 14 Oct 2010 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/has-obama-failed-to-reduce-hostility-toward-obnoxi,18264/ http://www.theonion.com/video/has-obama-failed-to-reduce-hostility-toward-obnoxi,18264/ Tue, 12 Oct 2010 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/biden-invites-nations-women-to-tax-code-discussion,18245/ http://www.theonion.com/video/biden-invites-nations-women-to-tax-code-discussion,18245/ Tue, 05 Oct 2010 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/study-americans-get-majority-of-exercise-while-dru,18198/ http://www.theonion.com/video/study-americans-get-majority-of-exercise-while-dru,18198/ Tue, 28 Sep 2010 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/justin-bieber-found-to-be-cleverly-disguised-51yea,18178/ http://www.theonion.com/video/justin-bieber-found-to-be-cleverly-disguised-51yea,18178/ Thu, 23 Sep 2010 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/how-to-play-golf-against-the-man-whose-wife-youre,18144/ http://www.theonion.com/video/how-to-play-golf-against-the-man-whose-wife-youre,18144/ Tue, 21 Sep 2010 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/joad-cressbeckler-nasa-honeyfuggling-america-with,18140/ 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http://www.theonion.com/video/police-seize-more-than-50-in-wire-from-nations-wea,18016/ http://www.theonion.com/video/police-seize-more-than-50-in-wire-from-nations-wea,18016/ Thu, 26 Aug 2010 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/in-the-know-are-tests-biased-against-students-who,17966/ http://www.theonion.com/video/in-the-know-are-tests-biased-against-students-who,17966/ Tue, 24 Aug 2010 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/time-announces-new-version-of-magazine-aimed-at-ad,17950/ http://www.theonion.com/video/time-announces-new-version-of-magazine-aimed-at-ad,17950/ Tue, 03 Aug 2010 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/overcome-stress-by-visualizing-it-as-a-greedy-hook,17828/ http://www.theonion.com/video/overcome-stress-by-visualizing-it-as-a-greedy-hook,17828/ Tue, 27 Jul 2010 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/guatemalan-flights-datarecording-parrot-holds-clue,17785/ http://www.theonion.com/video/guatemalan-flights-datarecording-parrot-holds-clue,17785/ Tue, 20 Jul 2010 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/jennifer-aniston-adopts-33yearold-boyfriend-from-a,17768/ http://www.theonion.com/video/jennifer-aniston-adopts-33yearold-boyfriend-from-a,17768/ Wed, 14 Jul 2010 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/girl-raised-from-birth-by-wolf-blitzer-taken-into,17714/ http://www.theonion.com/video/girl-raised-from-birth-by-wolf-blitzer-taken-into,17714/ Fri, 09 Jul 2010 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/truck-accident-that-killed-rafters-in-canyon-spark,17697/ http://www.theonion.com/video/truck-accident-that-killed-rafters-in-canyon-spark,17697/ Wed, 07 Jul 2010 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/new-apple-friend-bar-gives-customers-someone-to-ta,17693/ http://www.theonion.com/video/new-apple-friend-bar-gives-customers-someone-to-ta,17693/ Thu, 01 Jul 2010 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/restoration-of-star-spangled-banner-uncovers-horri,17691/ http://www.theonion.com/video/restoration-of-star-spangled-banner-uncovers-horri,17691/ Wed, 30 Jun 2010 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/future-news-from-the-year-2137-trailer,17695/ http://www.theonion.com/video/future-news-from-the-year-2137-trailer,17695/ Tue, 29 Jun 2010 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/alqaeda-calls-off-attack-on-nations-capitol-to-spa,17688/ http://www.theonion.com/video/alqaeda-calls-off-attack-on-nations-capitol-to-spa,17688/ Thu, 24 Jun 2010 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/congress-1924-rep-demands-horses-wear-dresses-to-h,17671/ http://www.theonion.com/video/congress-1924-rep-demands-horses-wear-dresses-to-h,17671/ Mon, 21 Jun 2010 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/usda-recalls-96000-pounds-of-tainted-beef-from-one,17638/ http://www.theonion.com/video/usda-recalls-96000-pounds-of-tainted-beef-from-one,17638/ Thu, 17 Jun 2010 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/census-visits-providing-shutins-onceadecade-chance,17622/ http://www.theonion.com/video/census-visits-providing-shutins-onceadecade-chance,17622/ Mon, 14 Jun 2010 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/soccer-officially-announces-it-is-gay,17603/ http://www.theonion.com/video/soccer-officially-announces-it-is-gay,17603/ Thu, 10 Jun 2010 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/do-glass-pipes-incense-prove-teens-are-practicing,17587/ http://www.theonion.com/video/do-glass-pipes-incense-prove-teens-are-practicing,17587/ Mon, 07 Jun 2010 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/boston-globe-tailors-print-edition-for-three-remai,17572/ http://www.theonion.com/video/boston-globe-tailors-print-edition-for-three-remai,17572/ Thu, 03 Jun 2010 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/incredibly-sexy-firefighter-tragically-dies-in-ste,17549/ http://www.theonion.com/video/incredibly-sexy-firefighter-tragically-dies-in-ste,17549/ Thu, 27 May 2010 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.theonion.com/video/congressmen-submit-emergency-3-am-bill-demanding-i,17473/ http://www.theonion.com/video/congressmen-submit-emergency-3-am-bill-demanding-i,17473/ Mon, 24 May 2010 00:00:00 -0700 http://www.twotoncreativity.com/article-with-really-cool-long-title http://www.twotoncreativity.com/article-with-really-cool-long-title Progress is being made on two relief wells in the Gulf. Retired Admiral Thad Allen, who’s leading the government response to the disaster, said today one well is "very close" to being completed, and would be ready in early or mid-August. Rig workers are drilling 100 feet at a time until they intercept the broken well at the right place, Allen said. Read More

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